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Mental Health

Thanks to social media, we're more aware of other

Thanks to social media, we're more aware of other people's success, beauty and limitless coolness than ever before. And we hate it!

Rather than congratulating others on their abilities and victories, most of us fall prey to the green-eyed monster because of that annoying tendency to compare ourselves to others.

In episode 78 of the Dark Coffe podcast, I explore the strange phenomenon of 'comparisonitis.'

Why do we compare ourselves to others?

How can we stop ourselves falling into a doom scroll hole?

But also, how can jealousy be a useful emotion we can work WITH rather than AGAINST?

All this and more in this cheeky 20-minute episode (just right for your evening walk — don’t forget that evening walk!)

Search 'Dark Coffee' wherever you stream or click the link in the bio.

Now, I’m off to compare my business to some White Tea..... 👀

- ☕️ Alice

*UPDATE - all slots have now been filled! Looking

*UPDATE - all slots have now been filled! Looking forward to chatting with you all in the next two weeks 😁

Why keep your birthday to yourself when you can capitalise on it, baby?!

To celebrate my 33rd completed loop around the sun, I’d love to open up 5 spots for 1:1 coaching with me at the massively discounted price of £33!

‘Why £33 and not entirely free?’ you might ask.

Partly because great work is worth paying for.

And partly because I’m at capacity for pro-bono work at the moment.

Either way, you can get one of a classic, patented, super-deluxe power hour breakthrough session (coaching call) with yours truly for about a fifth of the usual price.

And there won’t be a hangover in sight! Just had this idea this morning and wanted to share while it was fresh in my brain.

What can you expect from a coaching call?

- one glorious hour of workshopping some problems you are trying to solve or goals you are trying to reach around your work and your wellbeing

- challenging questions to help you dig deep and excavate some inner wisdom

- insights from me to help generate new ideas and come at things from a different angle

- a hefty dose of moral support, tough love and calling you on your bullshit 😉

You’ll leave the call with:

- mega clarity around the direction you are heading in

- a clear action plan with your next steps in place

- a commitment from me to follow up with you within a month to find out how you’re getting on (no escape! Mwahaha!)

Interested? Chuck me a DM with any questions you might have, or just send ‘33’ to get yourself booked in.

I have 5 slots to give away. Speak to you soon!

And now I nap….

- ☕️ Alice

Ah, Freedom Day. She promised so much. But how are

Ah, Freedom Day. She promised so much. But how are you feeling?

Like many people, I looked forward to the ‘return to normality’ in principle.

But for me, the reality hasn’t quite lived up to the expectation.

There is a lot of uncertainty, discomfort and downright WEIRDNESS around this week.

Some people are loving life, liberty and the unrelenting sun.

Those people are wrong, and we must judge them.

Just kidding.

In this time, we have to double-down on that patience we’ve cultivated throughout the pandemic.

To help us get through this next stage.

To help us go easy with ourselves and our comfort levels.

To resist punching people in the face in the supermarket for their mask wearing / not wearing (depending on your point of view.)

It’s ab aggravating and unsettling time, so try to go easy on yourself.

We’re not out of the woods yet, and what means ‘freedom’ to you might mean ‘ridiculous levels of anxiety’ to the next person.

Keep cool, stay hydrated, and be nice to people this week 💛

- ☕️ Alice

The last 48 hours have shown us the ugliest side o

The last 48 hours have shown us the ugliest side of social media.

The displays of racism following the Euro 2020 result has shown its capacity to cause harm.

To spread hate.

To inflict pain.

But… is social media to blame?

Is the technology geared to make us feel and behave in certain ways?

Or have we done something to encourage the reputation that social media has?

As often as I sit on the ‘social media is a dick’ bandwagon, I can appreciate and recognise all the good it can achieve.

The potential it has to make our lives better rather than worse.

It’s ability to spread awareness, support, information and hope.

It’s ability to connect disparate people across the world so that they feel less alone in whatever they’re going through.

I firmly believe that social media is a dick.

But I also believe that it can change.

There might be something to rescue here.

But it’s going to take analysis and conscious effort - two things we don’t often engage with during our scroll time!

If you’d like to join a conversation about social media - and it’s impact on our mental health and wellbeing - come along to The Mental Health Meetup.

💻 Wednesday 14th July, 12.30 - 1.30pm BST on Zoom (link in bio to sign up.)

💛 Free to attend thanks to our headline sponsor @sicofficial.co.uk

✍🏼 If you can’t join, I’ll be sharing some of the main takeaways in the feed next week. This topic is too important not to share.

🤔 what are your thoughts on social media? It’s been a raw few days - has that changed your opinion?

- ☕️ Alice

Social media… we love it. We hate it. But what c

Social media… we love it. We hate it. But what can we do about it?

I’ve been having some FASCINATING conversations with you lot recently about the impact of social media on our wellbeing.

So much so that it’s going to be the focus of our next Mental Health Meetup.

12.30pm Weds 14th July.

Come and join a likeminded group of wellbeing professionals and business leaders to discuss:

☕️ our relationship with social media

☕️ the ways it can help or hinder us

☕️ how social media affects our teams and businesses

☕️ how we can use it responsibly

And probably more besides (cause you’re a chatty bunch.)

Expecting a cosy crowd of about 50, tucked into breakout rooms for small group chats and a big group discussion as well.

Share your ideas and leave with some actions.

It’s what it’s all about.

Link in bio.

The Mental Health Meetup is free to attend thanks to our awesome sponsors, @sicofficial.co.uk

Check out their account for awesome advice around disability, chronic illness, accessibility and business.

- ☕️ Alice

Comparisonitis - and what to do about it • We a

Comparisonitis - and what to do about it •

We all do it. We all scroll through Instagram and start falling into a comparison hole.

“Their business is going so well.”

“Their relationship looks amazing.”

“Their hair is so beautiful.”

It’s exhausting.

But comparisonitis isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

It can help clue us in to the things we want, which can be really helpful.

(If we’re not too busy falling into a pit of despair, coupled with jealousy.)

So, how do we drag ourselves out of the ditch of comparison?

NOTICE YOUR THOUGHTS
- they’re there for a reason.

What specifically are you feeling jealous of?

Pay attention to that feeling because it indicates a NEED.

YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE NEEDS, DAMN IT!
- ‘needs’ have a bit of a bad reputation.

But you’re allowed to have them. And you’re allowed to chase them a little bit as well.

So whenever you find yourself listing after that business, relationship or hair do, do a little self-enquiry.

Think about how you can cultivate a little bit of what that other person has into your own life.

ASK FOR HELP
- not sure where to start? Ask THEM for advice!

They might tell you to bugger off, but more often, people are willing to help you out and will be flattered that you asked.

TAKE ACTION
- if you get some good advice, keep the momentum going and act on it.

Maybe the first step to having that killer business is to do an audit on what you’re already doing and identify the gaps.

There are small steps you could be taking, and ways you could use your energy in a smarter way than just lusting after someone else’s life.

- Comparisonitis is natural. We’ll all find ourselves jealous from time to time.

Don’t judge yourself for it. And just know that there’s probably someone looking in on your life and wishing they could be you, too.

- ☕️ Alice

🎙 For more insights on comparisonitis, have a listen to our latest podcast episode: ‘Comparisonitis and how to deal with it.’

☕️ Search ‘Dark Coffee’ wherever you stream, or follow the link in our bio.

A fast way to boost your CONFIDENCE • Ah confid

A fast way to boost your CONFIDENCE •

Ah confidence…. That elusive mistress…

So many people think that confidence is something you’re either born with or you’re not.

But it’s actually a SKILL and as such, it can be learned and built up!

One of the fastest ways to do that is to focus on, and build on your STRENGTHS.

And the quickest way to start doing that is to actually acknowledge them!

Often we’re running around at 100mph, so we don’t recognise everything we are achieving as we go.

And when it comes to our strengths, we’re even more likely to ignore them because they come so naturally to us!

So my challenge for you this week is to celebrate some of your strengths!

Here are a few ideas to get you started -

🔥 if you haven’t got a testimonials page on your website, start one! Or scatter some client feedback around your other pages to act as social proof.

🔥 when someone asks how work is going, let them know a big win that’s happened for you recently

🔥 do an ‘intro post’ on Insta letting everyone know who you are and what your specialism is (especially if you’ve had a lot of new followers recently.)

🔥 when you introduce yourself at a networking event, let them know what cool clients you’re working with at the moment and how you’re helping them.

The skills you take for granted will be highly in-demand for someone else.

And getting some positive feedback from others is a great boost for your ego… and damn do we need that sometimes!

😊 what are some of your biggest strengths? Toot your horn below and let more people know how brilliant you are 🎉

- ☕️ Alice

🎉 Meet our first OFFICIAL SPONSOR!!! • As so

🎉 Meet our first OFFICIAL SPONSOR!!! •

As some of you will know, I’ve been running my networking event - The Mental Health Meetup - for the past few months.

It’s a monthly gathering of wellbeing professionals and leaders who want to meet them, and it’s been gathering great momentum.

So, to help support our growth, we’ve only gone and bagged our first big sponsor!!

🎉 SIC are the go-to destination for disabled and chronically ill people and their employers.

They offer a range of education and training services through their courses and online platform to support people into employment, and support employers in ensuring they are being as accessible as inclusive as possible.

They also have an online magazine to promote their message and spread information to the wider community.

Their Director Rachael Mole has been a huge support to myself, Dark Coffee and The Mental Health Meetup, so I’m thrilled to have @sicofficial.co.uk officially involved in a professional capacity.

Their sponsorship means that the event is FREE to all attendees and we can continue to grow the events 😊

For more info, have a look at their newly launched website, linked in the bio, and follow @sicofficial.co.uk to keep up to date with their work.

📱 Fancy joining the next event? We’re meeting online at 12.30pm on Wednesday 14th July, and it’s free thanks to Sic 😁 link also in the bio.

- ☕️ Alice