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Dark Coffee Podcast

Starting brave and bullshit-free conversations around mental health and wellbeing.

😔 FEELING LIKE A NOBODY • Many of us will be

😔 FEELING LIKE A NOBODY •

Many of us will be familiar with the feeling that we're unimportant, powerless or that we're a downright nobody.

Especially if we've lost something important to us like a relationship, a home or a job that made us feel like we were 'someone.'

These feelings don't last forever but they can overpower us in the moment.

So, how can we take the edge off?

One technique that can work surprisingly well is telling yourself a simple affirmation:

'I'm not a nobody; I'm a future somebody.'

When you're consumed with self-doubt, it can be difficult to 'fake it til you make it' and tell yourself you're the best thing since Netflix, because it feels like too much of a mental leap.

But telling yourself you're a 'future somebody' lets you see yourself as a work-in-progress.

This can remove some of the judgement that you're piling on yourself and be more compassionate to where you are right now.

You're not a nobody; you're a future somebody.

You're not a nobody; you're a work in progress.

And just for the record, you're not a nobody, full stop.

- ☕️ Alice

WHO’S THIS GIRL IN MY FEED? • Hello beauts! T

WHO’S THIS GIRL IN MY FEED? •

Hello beauts! Thought it was about time for a reintroduction to let you know why I’m in your feed!

I’m Alice - Founder and Director of wellbeing agency Dark Coffee.

I struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide throughout my twenties which led to burnout and a breakdown when I was 25. Terrible user experience - 0/5 stars. Do not recommend.

It took years to build myself back up and several more again to get confident enough to be open about my mental health challenges.

But finding that level of self-confidence has been a game changer, and now I’ve built a business dedicated to helping other people do the same.

We help people:

💫 to pro-actively manage their wellbeing

💫 to build positive mental health

💫 to develop greater resilience

💫 to get clear on their needs and values so that they can meet them

💫 to communicate their needs to build healthier relationships

💫 to set healthy boundaries to protect their energy levels

💫 to make better decisions

💫 to connect to the things that really matter to them

Basically if you want to feel more like your badass self, you’re in the right place 😉

What you can expect from me:

☕️ mental health real talk

☕️ wellbeing tips, strategies and advice

☕️ chronic over-sharing of the ‘business owner journey’ in my Stories 😅

☕️ busting through business bullshit and mental health mythology

☕️ personal development insights, prompts and guidance

💻 When I’m not on Instagram I’m delivering mental health and wellbeing training to companies who put their people first and let the profits follow. I also work 1:1 with millennial business leaders to help them bring their best, most badass self to work.

🌳 And when I’m not doing that, I’m probably off on a walk or eating cake!

🔥If I sound like your kind of person, stick around, recommend me to your friends and let’s build back badass together this year.

- ☕️ Alice

THERE IS NO HACK FOR WELLBEING •

As much as we’d all love to take a pill that will make all our problems go away, that’s not the way to build positive mental health.

The growth comes from a very unglamorous process of trial and error - finding what works for you and letting go of what doesn’t.

It’s also not a static thing - what works one day might not work another.

That’s because your moods, energy levels and needs can fluctuate day-to-day, and you will need to course-correct as you go.

‘Wellbeing’ isn’t a sexy destination we reach - it’s an ongoing PROCESS.

Practice it daily.

Ask yourself some honest questions:

💫 What do I need right now?

💫 Who do I really want to catch up with and when can I make time to call them?

💫 How can I prioritise rest this week?

The beauty of small, regular actions is that they are surprisingly powerful.

They take the edge off our worst days, and compound to lead to huge lifestyle changes.

My favourite small action has been cutting down on caffeine. Total game-changer for my focus and mood!

💫 Which small actions keep you on an even keel?

- ☕️ Alice

WE’VE GOT THIS • We’re in another lockdown,

WE’VE GOT THIS •

We’re in another lockdown, but it’s important to remember we’re not the same people who walked into the first one.

Sure, we’re more tired....

But we’re also stronger.

A bit wiser.

More resilient than before.

(Even if it feels like you’ve been getting punched in the face every day for the past 10 months.)

No point pretending this won’t be difficult, but there is a way through and at least this time there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Focus on moving forwards, even if it’s slowly.

Maybe you’ll feel like you’re going backwards some days.

Don’t worry: progress compounds over time.

Keep on coming back and trying again.

There’s a probably an overused idiom I could insert here about a journey of a thousand miles, but I’ll spare you.

Whatever you’re feeling today, know that it’s valid and you’re strong enough to handle it.

Now, I’m off to attempt productivity through my tears 😭😭😭

You’ve got this, you magical peanut, you!

Lots of love,

- ☕️ Alice

FIRST DAY BACK • A lot of us will have our firs

FIRST DAY BACK •

A lot of us will have our first day back in work sometime this week, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll have mixed feelings to say the least!

Personally, my calm, and quiet determination about the month ahead has been replaced with a racing heart and overwhelming sense of dread!

But hey, anxiety is a bitch.

When my body goes into ‘freak out mode,’ I double-down on things like sensible food, small actions and a common sense conversation with myself:

Me: “oh my god, I feel sick, I can’t do this.”
Also Me: “It’s going to be fine. Take a minute to get yourself a cup of tea and do one thing at a time.”
Me: “But there’s so much to do, I don’t know where to start!”
Also Me: “Then just start anywhere. Pick something easy to do, and that’ll calm you down a bit and give you some momentum.”

Days like this are enough to make you crawl back into bed, but try and stick with it if you can:

👉🏼 Start with a small job

👉🏼 Talk to a friend who is back to work as well and will be supportive of your nerves

👉🏼 Get your next holiday or long weekend in the diary! Nothing like an indefinite stretch of hard work to make you want to give up. Give yourself a light at the end of the tunnel

👉🏼 ‘Less is more’ - however much you have in your diary this week, try and take something away. We’re usually far too ambitious at the start of January which leaves us feeling defeated. Ease up on yourself.

We can do hard things. Good luck and let me know how your day goes ☺️

- ☕️ Alice

Not much left to say about 2020, except... we bloo

Not much left to say about 2020, except... we bloody made it!

Well done, everyone.

- 🥂 Alice

So after the HOURS myself and the team spent makin

So after the HOURS myself and the team spent making sodding carousels this year, my Top 9 posts are just photos of my face 😂

Well at least the content strategy will be easier next year.

Get ready for more close ups... you brought this on yourselves!

- ☕️ Alice

JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR REFLECTION • Inspired by

JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR REFLECTION •

Inspired by a related question by my lovely friend @sarahdenisestudio I decided to offer some journal prompts for those of you who like to reflect and ruminate.

Even if it’s not part of your regular wellbeing routine, taking some time at new year to review the last 12 months can be weirdly comforting - even after a shitshow like 2020.

Here are a few suggestions to get your creative mind wandering:

💫 What did you learn about yourself?

💫 What great things did you observe?

💫 What I’m I grateful for receiving?

💫 What will I leave behind?

As an added bonus, these prompts don’t just work at new year - they’re great as part of an end-of-month review that you can set with yourself, so save this post to come back to it later.

Taking regular breaks to reflect on our progress is useful in loads of ways, mostly because it gives us an opportunity to celebrate how far we’ve come.

Because even if we haven’t achieved anything big, shiny or ‘instagrammable,’ we will have made some progress.

And it’s worth paying attention to that.

One of my coaching clients told me this week that this is the first New Year in 15 years that he wasn’t dreading!

All because he’s gotten into this regular habit of checking-in with himself, celebrating his progress and THEN setting goals.

✍🏼 And if you’d like to get into a regular writing practice, I’ll be launching a writing group sometime in the new year so you can join fellow scribblers to motivate, encourage and support each other.

👇🏼Let me know which one of these prompts brought up something interesting for you!

- ☕️ Alice